7. Backrubs
I love my married life because when either of us has a stressful day or a heavy backback or is just exhausted, we have a personal backrubber who is willing to help. Not only do I feel very loved when my husband is willing to take a few minutes out of what he's doing to help relieve the tension in my neck, back, and shoulders, but it's just bliss, physically. I'm very thankful that I can enjoy this kind of support in my daily life. (And I also enjoy being able to provide it, as I know he feels loved and thankful and physically more well, too!).
Thursday 20 February 2014
Wednesday 19 February 2014
Doing our part
6. Helping Earth a little bit
I enjoy doing things that help the earth and help others, especially to reduce waste and fight against injustice and build community. I love my married life because this is a part of it! Here are some things we are doing to 'do our part':
I enjoy doing things that help the earth and help others, especially to reduce waste and fight against injustice and build community. I love my married life because this is a part of it! Here are some things we are doing to 'do our part':
- We recycle
- We compost, a little bit
- We compost, a little bit
- We buy milk bags instead of milk jugs (less plastic usage)
- We have started to buy some of our vegetables from a local farm, so we can support them; and also so that we can start to learn what items are in season (that way we can know what is most likely to be not-flown-in at the grocery story as well)
- We buy Fairtrade or local coffee, tea, sugar, bananas and chocolate. I hope we can add more to this list!
- We buy second-hand clothes, shoes, kitchen and household items, and gifts as much as possible
- We gift-forward (AKA we re-gift things that we can imagine another person enjoying more than we would, rather than letting it sit around not being used or being junk or thrown away); having a 're-gifting' box in our house helps us to avoid buying new/first-hand wrapping papers or bags, or last-minute gifts
- We ride our bikes to and from 'work'
- We save plastic bags to use as water-shielders on our bikes, lunch-packs, or to take back to the store; I'd like to try and use store-bags even less often.
- We use Freecycle and Gumtree
- We save up batteries and electronics to recycle at a big centre instead of throwing them in the trash
- We use cloths for cleaning up instead of paper towels, as much as possible.
- We are looking into using homemade shampoo and cleaning supplies (not sure how quickly we can switch over to this!)
- If a fruit or vegetable is going bad (so far we have done potatoes and apples), we quickly chop off the bad parts and cook it up so that we use as much as we can rather than throwing them away
- If a fruit or vegetable is going bad (so far we have done potatoes and apples), we quickly chop off the bad parts and cook it up so that we use as much as we can rather than throwing them away
I hope we can just keep adding to the list, to do what we can to contribute to a healthier planet.
My married life is not my wedding life
5. My (married) life is an opportunity to live joyfully in God's love and grace, and to share it.
I love my married life because every day of it (like every day of my before, not-married, life) is a second chance, a new day that I am an imperfect person loved and cherished and forgiven and freed by a perfect God, a holy Father. I love my married life because it is redeeming my wedding life, as I realized this afternoon.
I was having so much 'wedding regret' and guilt and anger and dissatisfaction (and even a feeling like hopelessness, since I could not go back and change anything), especially over how much money was spent but also how I acted, reacted and related to it all. I googled "wedding guilt", hoping to find something that would erase the feelings, and read many blog posts and online articles; I emailed one of my best friends describing the feelings and asking her what to do. I considered bringing it up to D tonight, but none of those things made me feel any better. I just felt stuck in my thinking-about-the-past and feeling-awful. I was feeling guilty because I didn't even enjoy the run-up to my wedding, because of letting things stress me to the point of taking up (not-)eating behaviors I used to have and getting sick and because of acting out of control and jealousy and insecurity and anger about the money and fanciness and feeling 'left out'. I was feeling guilty that I was 'one of those girls' who spent a disgusting amount of money on a single day; I was one of those girls who was so caught up in herself that she wasn't even herself anymore and couldn't enjoy the celebrating; I was one of those girls who got mad at someone during the reception and let it get to me so much that I couldn't even enjoy the last half of the party.
"I was X Y or Z." The guilt and anger and dissatisfaction comes from staying stuck in this past tense, giving into the temptation to turn away from Christ and into myself. With my emotions and energies and thoughts in the past, not only do I stay regretful because I can't change anything that has happened, I waste time and energy in the present and lose out on opportunities to rejoice in what is and who I am and who I can be.
Finally, I turned to Christ. Finally, I prayer-journaled and turned to Him instead of to the past, to blogs, or to my friends and husband. I turned to the One who make all things new, and I that is when I found freedom from the regret and guilt and anger and dissatisfaction and hopelessness. In prayer, in communication with my Father, I found freedom and release. I found the beauty in the realization that I am not perfect; I never have been and I never will be.
Nor was I ever called to be.
When my imperfections come out - as they did in a 'big way' with the wedding, or in how I got angry with D yesterday, whenever I get critical of someone or swear or show the enemy's colors as mine - I have two choices. One is to give in to the despair and the lie that tells me I have 'failed' because I have been imperfect. Or, I can give in to humble, peaceful joy, and the Truth that tells me, of course you are imperfect, but I have loved you always, and I forgive you every time. My strength is made perfect in your weakness. Return to me and delight in my love, move forward, re-commit to living well and be unafraid of falling.
So, after wrestling with myself, God came out victorious! I chose to be who I am, instead of worrying about what I have been in the past, specifically with regard to the wedding. I am me, I am imperfect, and I am loved. I make mistakes, even big mistakes, and God still loves me and forgives me, every time. So I didn't shine my light at my wedding... so maybe I was even a stumbling block to someone. I am sorry for that, and I am also forgiven, praise God. Today as every day, I have a chance to be used by God to shine and to encourage others to know Him. Maybe my wedding life wasn't good witness, but, Praise God, my married life is not defined by my wedding life! I pray we can shine our lights, and that regardless of whether the wedding time was offered to His glory, that our married time can be offered as just such a living sacrifice. Step by step, day by day, every mistake and every blessing of the way. Never afraid of falling or choosing to stay in guilt, but always fearlessly confident in the love and forgiveness and power of Christ to define my life, and choosing to remain in His grace every time.
In this light - in His light, His truth - there is freedom to be who I was made to be. Without fear. Without being held back by who I was in past moments. Praise God!
So, I love my married life because it's the rest of my life, as far as the eye can see. It is the life I am given each day, a life to be grateful for; a life to rejoice in, to serve others with, to learn about God and serve Him in. A life which is always, as with every thing, used for the good of those who love God. Praise Him. :)
I love my married life because every day of it (like every day of my before, not-married, life) is a second chance, a new day that I am an imperfect person loved and cherished and forgiven and freed by a perfect God, a holy Father. I love my married life because it is redeeming my wedding life, as I realized this afternoon.
I was having so much 'wedding regret' and guilt and anger and dissatisfaction (and even a feeling like hopelessness, since I could not go back and change anything), especially over how much money was spent but also how I acted, reacted and related to it all. I googled "wedding guilt", hoping to find something that would erase the feelings, and read many blog posts and online articles; I emailed one of my best friends describing the feelings and asking her what to do. I considered bringing it up to D tonight, but none of those things made me feel any better. I just felt stuck in my thinking-about-the-past and feeling-awful. I was feeling guilty because I didn't even enjoy the run-up to my wedding, because of letting things stress me to the point of taking up (not-)eating behaviors I used to have and getting sick and because of acting out of control and jealousy and insecurity and anger about the money and fanciness and feeling 'left out'. I was feeling guilty that I was 'one of those girls' who spent a disgusting amount of money on a single day; I was one of those girls who was so caught up in herself that she wasn't even herself anymore and couldn't enjoy the celebrating; I was one of those girls who got mad at someone during the reception and let it get to me so much that I couldn't even enjoy the last half of the party.
"I was X Y or Z." The guilt and anger and dissatisfaction comes from staying stuck in this past tense, giving into the temptation to turn away from Christ and into myself. With my emotions and energies and thoughts in the past, not only do I stay regretful because I can't change anything that has happened, I waste time and energy in the present and lose out on opportunities to rejoice in what is and who I am and who I can be.
Finally, I turned to Christ. Finally, I prayer-journaled and turned to Him instead of to the past, to blogs, or to my friends and husband. I turned to the One who make all things new, and I that is when I found freedom from the regret and guilt and anger and dissatisfaction and hopelessness. In prayer, in communication with my Father, I found freedom and release. I found the beauty in the realization that I am not perfect; I never have been and I never will be.
Nor was I ever called to be.
When my imperfections come out - as they did in a 'big way' with the wedding, or in how I got angry with D yesterday, whenever I get critical of someone or swear or show the enemy's colors as mine - I have two choices. One is to give in to the despair and the lie that tells me I have 'failed' because I have been imperfect. Or, I can give in to humble, peaceful joy, and the Truth that tells me, of course you are imperfect, but I have loved you always, and I forgive you every time. My strength is made perfect in your weakness. Return to me and delight in my love, move forward, re-commit to living well and be unafraid of falling.
So, after wrestling with myself, God came out victorious! I chose to be who I am, instead of worrying about what I have been in the past, specifically with regard to the wedding. I am me, I am imperfect, and I am loved. I make mistakes, even big mistakes, and God still loves me and forgives me, every time. So I didn't shine my light at my wedding... so maybe I was even a stumbling block to someone. I am sorry for that, and I am also forgiven, praise God. Today as every day, I have a chance to be used by God to shine and to encourage others to know Him. Maybe my wedding life wasn't good witness, but, Praise God, my married life is not defined by my wedding life! I pray we can shine our lights, and that regardless of whether the wedding time was offered to His glory, that our married time can be offered as just such a living sacrifice. Step by step, day by day, every mistake and every blessing of the way. Never afraid of falling or choosing to stay in guilt, but always fearlessly confident in the love and forgiveness and power of Christ to define my life, and choosing to remain in His grace every time.
In this light - in His light, His truth - there is freedom to be who I was made to be. Without fear. Without being held back by who I was in past moments. Praise God!
So, I love my married life because it's the rest of my life, as far as the eye can see. It is the life I am given each day, a life to be grateful for; a life to rejoice in, to serve others with, to learn about God and serve Him in. A life which is always, as with every thing, used for the good of those who love God. Praise Him. :)
Sunday 16 February 2014
Today
4. Today, February 16, 2014, was a wonderful day.
- up at 8:30 before husband to make coffee and breakfast for him, since he's got a cold and has to 'work' at church today
- sunshine!!!
- on my bike ELATED to head toward 9:30 service at HT
- feeling at home, hearing truth, delighting in worshipping with so many unique others, feeling my real self, enjoying praying and church once again, feeling EXCITED about the adventure and wonder that is the Christian life, renewed
- going right over to a friend who sells a magazine outside the church and saying 'you've got to come to church with me sometime soon, it's amazing!'; realizing that JOY is what spurs me to sharing the love and peace and delight I have in Christ, with others... this is what's been missing. I want to tell the world!
- went to the local-farm market stall and for 4.10 bought a GIANT stalk of brussels sprouts, some purple kale to try, cauliflower, and spinach
- went back to HT for the 11:30 service (halfway over when I got there but ah well!); saw a girl praying, went over to her after because a prayer came out of my mouth when she was praying, and told her what the prayer was. She wrote it down. We chatted, and hoped to see eachother again.
- went back home through town, with people staring and pointing and laughing and smiling and saying 'brussels sprouts!!' all the way
- cooked up a storm for over an hour, to make chips, mashed potatoes, meatless patties, bread, spinach and tomato, and kale chips.
- ate lunch with David and shared about church; walked around the garden a bit just to see it
- went on a bike ride to where we had our first kiss, rode around, ended up seeing the sports centre; it was so fun to be free like kids again!
- made decaf vanilla latte macchiato's with froth just like a coffee shop, so proud of myself! Then on our bikes and back to church again
- evening service was amazing, and I felt so at home again. went up for prayer at the end because I just wanted to say 'yes' to whatever it is that God may ask of me; just like when I lived in Cambridge before, a marvelous wondrous love-adventure for Him, that begins and ends and finds its strength and purpose and joy in Him alone, first in my heart!
- someone shared a testimony similar to husband's church placement experience; really encouraging
- seriously good line for me: "anyone who is not against you is for you" ... I hope this will help me in relating to husband's family in a loving and secure way
- saw prayer-girl from morning service again, went to say hello because I wanted to be her friend, gave her my number :)
- came home and tried to Skype his family but they weren't available, so I called my mom to chat.
- godmother is scared and sick; maybe I will go and visit her, she will call me when she has test results; I have such hope for her
- husband suggested we pray, especially for godmother, so we did and it turned into a wonderfully long and heartfelt and real prayer session. so good.
- winding down for bed now but it was such a wonderful day. :)
I love my married life because I love my married partner. I delight in both of us knowing Christ, and I really hope our marriage can be a way of glorifying Him and encouraging each other and loving others in His name. I love being exactly who I am in Christ, and being married and settled in that aspect of my life, in order to have a stability in a sense to love on others riding more waves in their situations and life seasons. This post is messy and joyful and disorganize, like life sometimes! But it's beautiful.
Like marriage. ;) My messy, joyful marriage which is not perfect and not always easy, but is simple and good and beautiful. My messy, joyful marriage which I love.
- up at 8:30 before husband to make coffee and breakfast for him, since he's got a cold and has to 'work' at church today
- sunshine!!!
- on my bike ELATED to head toward 9:30 service at HT
- feeling at home, hearing truth, delighting in worshipping with so many unique others, feeling my real self, enjoying praying and church once again, feeling EXCITED about the adventure and wonder that is the Christian life, renewed
- going right over to a friend who sells a magazine outside the church and saying 'you've got to come to church with me sometime soon, it's amazing!'; realizing that JOY is what spurs me to sharing the love and peace and delight I have in Christ, with others... this is what's been missing. I want to tell the world!
- went to the local-farm market stall and for 4.10 bought a GIANT stalk of brussels sprouts, some purple kale to try, cauliflower, and spinach
- went back to HT for the 11:30 service (halfway over when I got there but ah well!); saw a girl praying, went over to her after because a prayer came out of my mouth when she was praying, and told her what the prayer was. She wrote it down. We chatted, and hoped to see eachother again.
- went back home through town, with people staring and pointing and laughing and smiling and saying 'brussels sprouts!!' all the way
- cooked up a storm for over an hour, to make chips, mashed potatoes, meatless patties, bread, spinach and tomato, and kale chips.
- ate lunch with David and shared about church; walked around the garden a bit just to see it
- went on a bike ride to where we had our first kiss, rode around, ended up seeing the sports centre; it was so fun to be free like kids again!
- made decaf vanilla latte macchiato's with froth just like a coffee shop, so proud of myself! Then on our bikes and back to church again
- evening service was amazing, and I felt so at home again. went up for prayer at the end because I just wanted to say 'yes' to whatever it is that God may ask of me; just like when I lived in Cambridge before, a marvelous wondrous love-adventure for Him, that begins and ends and finds its strength and purpose and joy in Him alone, first in my heart!
- someone shared a testimony similar to husband's church placement experience; really encouraging
- seriously good line for me: "anyone who is not against you is for you" ... I hope this will help me in relating to husband's family in a loving and secure way
- saw prayer-girl from morning service again, went to say hello because I wanted to be her friend, gave her my number :)
- came home and tried to Skype his family but they weren't available, so I called my mom to chat.
- godmother is scared and sick; maybe I will go and visit her, she will call me when she has test results; I have such hope for her
- husband suggested we pray, especially for godmother, so we did and it turned into a wonderfully long and heartfelt and real prayer session. so good.
- winding down for bed now but it was such a wonderful day. :)
I love my married life because I love my married partner. I delight in both of us knowing Christ, and I really hope our marriage can be a way of glorifying Him and encouraging each other and loving others in His name. I love being exactly who I am in Christ, and being married and settled in that aspect of my life, in order to have a stability in a sense to love on others riding more waves in their situations and life seasons. This post is messy and joyful and disorganize, like life sometimes! But it's beautiful.
Like marriage. ;) My messy, joyful marriage which is not perfect and not always easy, but is simple and good and beautiful. My messy, joyful marriage which I love.
Thursday 13 February 2014
Fresh Bread
3. Making our own bread, daily.
I realize that non-married people can have snacks (post 1) and also sleepovers with their friends and family (post 2) and make their own bread (this post)... but I sure didn't make my own bread before getting married, and I probably never would have gotten around to it if my husband didn't say "hey, I've got a great idea, let's have my Dad bring down their old bread maker and we can bake our own fresh bread!"and then followed through with said plan, bought all the ingredients, and made the first couple batches with me watching so I'd get the idea. Using a break-maker is SO not hard. It comes with the recipes; you just measure out five or six ingredients (one more if you do what we've started doing and adding ground-linseed for added Omega-3 for our vegetarian selves), dump it in inside, tell the machine when you want it ready, and voila! Delicious bread for almost no effort.
I really enjoy not only the freshness of the bread we eat now, and the fact that I know exactly what's in it and appreciate it because I put the ingredients in, but I also enjoy that it's a tag-team effort that so far, we don't need to assign. It's a nice routine of it needs done so someone does it. (We've had this discussion - what needs done and who should do it - about kitchen cleaning today so hopefully I shall soon post about how I love the shared teamwork of a clean kitchen!). I also enjoy a general trend that this fresh bread phenomenon represents: my husband loves to try new things, and he's not afraid to just go for it. I'm a bit lazier, more hesitant, more "it's too much effort"... he helps me get into the spirit of the everyday adventure. Like buying and putting together two white rocking chairs in our so-called living room area. Like requesting different furniture from the maintenance department so that we could make a cozy book-nook and get a portable closet to hang up clothes in the bedroom. Like attaining and using a bread maker. Like cooking mushroom burgers and potato waffles last minute tonight because we were going by the grocery store and he just could.
They were delicious.
I love my married life because I appreciate the everyday adventure more, under the influence of this great guy I get to spend it with.
... and the fresh-baked bread every day is certainly a bonus!
I realize that non-married people can have snacks (post 1) and also sleepovers with their friends and family (post 2) and make their own bread (this post)... but I sure didn't make my own bread before getting married, and I probably never would have gotten around to it if my husband didn't say "hey, I've got a great idea, let's have my Dad bring down their old bread maker and we can bake our own fresh bread!"and then followed through with said plan, bought all the ingredients, and made the first couple batches with me watching so I'd get the idea. Using a break-maker is SO not hard. It comes with the recipes; you just measure out five or six ingredients (one more if you do what we've started doing and adding ground-linseed for added Omega-3 for our vegetarian selves), dump it in inside, tell the machine when you want it ready, and voila! Delicious bread for almost no effort.
I really enjoy not only the freshness of the bread we eat now, and the fact that I know exactly what's in it and appreciate it because I put the ingredients in, but I also enjoy that it's a tag-team effort that so far, we don't need to assign. It's a nice routine of it needs done so someone does it. (We've had this discussion - what needs done and who should do it - about kitchen cleaning today so hopefully I shall soon post about how I love the shared teamwork of a clean kitchen!). I also enjoy a general trend that this fresh bread phenomenon represents: my husband loves to try new things, and he's not afraid to just go for it. I'm a bit lazier, more hesitant, more "it's too much effort"... he helps me get into the spirit of the everyday adventure. Like buying and putting together two white rocking chairs in our so-called living room area. Like requesting different furniture from the maintenance department so that we could make a cozy book-nook and get a portable closet to hang up clothes in the bedroom. Like attaining and using a bread maker. Like cooking mushroom burgers and potato waffles last minute tonight because we were going by the grocery store and he just could.
They were delicious.
I love my married life because I appreciate the everyday adventure more, under the influence of this great guy I get to spend it with.
... and the fresh-baked bread every day is certainly a bonus!
Sunday 9 February 2014
Sleepovers
2. Good-nights instead of Good-byes
I love being married because instead of spending hours every night procrastinating leaving either of our flats, we get to spend that time relaxing together in our flat! Now that we live together, we get to enjoy evening activities like reading in bed, watching movies, having friends over, cooking, and even the occasional study night in a much more relaxed manner, because we don't have to worry about the clock counting down to when one or the other has to 'go home'. Instead, we can just enjoy each other's company, as well as have the space to do our own thing when we want to because we know that we'll have time to come back together again before sleeping. I love getting into our PJs, brushing teeth, and cosying up in bed to talk about ... well, because it's us, really random things! Or sensible things. Or silly things. I love my married life because come night-fall, I no longer have to get sad about saying goodbye to my best friend as he leaves to go home, like we did when we were engaged. As husband and wife, come night-fall and come morning, we're already home. :)
I love being married because instead of spending hours every night procrastinating leaving either of our flats, we get to spend that time relaxing together in our flat! Now that we live together, we get to enjoy evening activities like reading in bed, watching movies, having friends over, cooking, and even the occasional study night in a much more relaxed manner, because we don't have to worry about the clock counting down to when one or the other has to 'go home'. Instead, we can just enjoy each other's company, as well as have the space to do our own thing when we want to because we know that we'll have time to come back together again before sleeping. I love getting into our PJs, brushing teeth, and cosying up in bed to talk about ... well, because it's us, really random things! Or sensible things. Or silly things. I love my married life because come night-fall, I no longer have to get sad about saying goodbye to my best friend as he leaves to go home, like we did when we were engaged. As husband and wife, come night-fall and come morning, we're already home. :)
Sunday 2 February 2014
Snacks
1. "Our marriage is awesome because we have snacks."
Soy sauce sunflower & pumpkin seeds, tortilla chips, dark chocolate biscuits, apples with peanut butter, popcorn, peaches and yogurt, cheese toasties, pretzels... the works.
It's fun to read in bed with a snack. It's two times as much fun to read in bed with a snack and a spouse. Granted, said snack bowl must be refilled two times as often when shared with said spouse, but that's okay because there are two times as many people available to refill it.
This started on the very first night of our marriage, one month ago today. A bag of sesame seed sticks, right between us in the bed. That's right. And the words to the right of "1." above? Literal quote by yours truly, the first one about why I love my married life.
Soy sauce sunflower & pumpkin seeds, tortilla chips, dark chocolate biscuits, apples with peanut butter, popcorn, peaches and yogurt, cheese toasties, pretzels... the works.
It's fun to read in bed with a snack. It's two times as much fun to read in bed with a snack and a spouse. Granted, said snack bowl must be refilled two times as often when shared with said spouse, but that's okay because there are two times as many people available to refill it.
This started on the very first night of our marriage, one month ago today. A bag of sesame seed sticks, right between us in the bed. That's right. And the words to the right of "1." above? Literal quote by yours truly, the first one about why I love my married life.
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